Mother Nature, sometimes seeming to be arbitrary and capricious, is putting us through the evolutionary gauntlet, as it has all of the generations of your family before you. You are a product of millions of years of mental and physical prowess. At the very least, Mother Nature has deemed it necessary for you to arrive, survive, and–I hope–to thrive (or you wouldn’t be here). Ultimately, you are a miracle.
When the next bully comes out of the shadows: face him; come out of your corner; thumb your nose; take the challenge; come out fighting! The prize can be so many things: faith; courage; self-esteem; exoneration; peace. Hang in there, and “Surround yourself with terrific people!”
The 12-step program is for everyone. If you think there is “an easier, softer way”, that is one of the symptoms of addiction. The program teaches problem-solving, while establishing trust: a sponsor, sober friends, and confidentiality. That is where we are all stuck. When we become problem-solvers within the law, we grow up. Isn’t that our most effective role? The world could find peace.
Your home group will help you find a sponsor, shelter, treatment, employment, schooling, safe places to hang, safe people to hang with, confidential friends who don’t gossip (see that you don’t!), and much more.
Layne said to me, “Mom, one thing I have learned, everything is either right or wrong”.
I recommend Landmark Education’s “The Forum”. Learn to work with facts (not drama, gossip, and self-focus, misperceptions, assumptions and lies). Learn practical and creative solutions. Look in the phone book in every major city, worldwide or Google it. Just 2½ days that will change your life. It’s worth every penny. Or, call and ask for financial aid.
A teacher once told his class, “Remember, everyone wants to love and be loved”. Another reminded his class, “What is the loving thing to do?” If you are a target of someone’s dysfunction, “be a target out of reach”. Love from afar. Perhaps someone else will get through to your loved one. Perhaps you will be able to help someone unknown to you. If you’re dealing with an addict, sometimes being the bad guy isn’t so bad. Say, “No”, and focus on your own self-care.
H.A.L.T! Are you hungry, angry, lonely, tired? Take care of yourself first. As the saying goes, “Love thy neighbor as thy self”. (That implies that you have to love yourself first.)
Layne sang, “We’re all alone”. I’m Layne’s mom, and I say, “We’re all alone, together”. There are seven billion of us, and I believe the lesson for survival is to learn to work together. It’s the buddy system. And if we don’t get it, and settle down, and relax, and help each other, we’re going to continue bumping into one another, hurrying around getting ours before the next guy. It’s pretty creepy.
You’re in a big club, the biggest sporting event on earth: the human race. And we’re all going to finish, one way or the other. Run well.
“The secret to life is to live it”. Are you living the solution or the problem? “Choose ye, this day”.
Life: “You’re either dealing with it, or dealing with not dealing with it”.
Every distraction, be it a hobby, a meal, exercise, talking, hiding, T.V., sleeping-any excessive behavior or thinking- can be overdone, putting us out of balance. Moderation, moderation, moderation. “Line upon line; precept upon precept”. Focus on a few things that are important.
Addicts are looking for peace. You have to feel to heal. In my humble opinion, trying illegal drugs or the non-prescribed use of prescription drugs is a stupid and dangerous choice; using is using to escape; getting hooked is being ambushed and controlled. Drug use is no longer a choice. No one knows whose body will succumb, ’til it’s too late. Addiction is not a choice. It’s not a choice. It’s a trap!
(FYI: The growers know this. The smugglers know this. The government knows this. The businesses that front drug activity and launder drug money know this. The runners know this. The pushers know this. The dealers know this. They set up heists, steal from storage units of the famous, and sell the goods on eBay or in auctions, or to auction houses. Their names surface after the deaths of famous rock stars, and famous sports figures; then auction houses specializing in rock stars or sports figures contact repeat customers. It’s a web of conspiracy. It’s sick and disgusting.)
I feel compelled to tell you that throughout the past ten years we have had to deal with: the theft of Layne’s art (which we recently bought back with Layne’s hard-earned “blood” money, from someone who thought “Layne would want [them]to have it”…absurd!!); the theft of his Harley (which was then driven 50 miles on two flat tires and put on display in someone’s living room, later to be parted out!…addiction, grrrrrr); the theft of his journals (addiction…grrrrr); extensive vandalism of (and theft from) his car; extortion; lies; ghoulish behavior; the truth about some “friends”; loss of privacy; misunderstandings; complicated legal and accounting issues; huge expenses; unfamiliar business territory; fear; exhaustion; and disappointments, etc. If you see someone making money from merchandise that is not estate-authorized, let me know. I can send a “cease and desist” letter, which clarifies the estate position. eBay is not a place to make money off of my son. Nor is craigslist. It is a breach of conscience to do so. If you have something not legitimately acquired, return it to the estate, where it belongs. Many of Layne’s things were pilfered over the years and should come home.
No remanufacturing, copying, or use of band logos, artwork, signature, pictures, etc., is legal. It’s okay to sell your owned goods (that’s your business); or, just keep your mementos and tell your children about Layne, Mad Season and A.I.C. someday. If you don’t care, give them freely to someone who does (if they are legitimately yours to give). The law allows for a “caregiver” of someone else’s things to return them to the estate without being suspect or charged. It is not alright to “negotiate” a “thank you” fee. That would be known as “extortion’. The estate may make that choice.
“They parted his garments, and cast lots”. Ghouls.